Another month has passed and what a month it has been. It feels like a year’s worth of drama all squeezed in one short month. It went by fast. A lot has changed since July.
First of all, remember when I said I fell in love? Well, that’s over now. Another sad story to add to my book of misadventures in the world of love. Don’t worry, I’m okay. It amazes me how I’ve been through so much in relationships and I’m still learning.
People may fall in love but not completely. It’s not true what they say about loving just one person. Being someone who has been cheated on, I only learned this now. All it took was to fall in love with a guy who was cheated on too, and is hella hung over the girl. I used to think that when a person finds someone else, they no longer love the person they were initially with. That’s not true. Well not completely true. I think that they love the person but a little less. And then they give a bit of their love to someone else for a number of reasons that I don’t want to get in to. What I’m saying is, it is completely human to be in love with more than one person. I know it sounds stupid and I’m not saying that cheating is not wrong. Cheating is still such a disgusting act. All I’m saying is, I now understand how a person can fall for someone else. It’s just a matter of acting on it or not. Afterall, it’s our decisions that make us.
What a revelation! You don’t have to agree with me, this is just something I kinda accepted. Maybe to not feel sorry for myself and just so I wouldn’t feel so bad about falling for a guy who is still in love with his ex.. again. But I won’t get into that anymore. Too much drama in one post already.
I have big news too. After everything I’ve been through here in the Philippines I finally decided to go back home to Doha, Qatar. It’s where I grew up in. Honestly, living here in Manila has beaten me up so badly I think I just want to go back to a place I feel safe in for a while. And it’s so hard to save up here with all the bills and taxes. So my new plan is to work in Qatar and save up for a year or so and then study again. My goal is London. I’ve found a university dedicated to the arts and found short courses in writing and photography, which are skills I want to hone. There is so much more ahead of me.
Deciding on this, however, means that I’m giving up quite a few things too. I’ve lived in the Philippines for about 5 years and throughout that I’ve gained a lot that will be hard to leave. I quit my job, which is something I’ve been wanting to do for the past 2 months. I’m going to be leaving some old and new friends–high school friends who I’ve stayed close with, college friends who I still see everyday because they’re my work mates as well and friends I’ve made at work. Leaving is always a hard thing to do. My whole life is here. All my stuff are here–especially the mini library I’ve built up in my room.
But looking at the bright side, I’m giving myself a fresh start in a familiar home. I’ll be coming back to old friends and I’m going to have a clean slate. Another shot at trying to steer my life in a direction I want it to go.
I’m ready to take on another chapter in my life–hopefully free from boys and relationships because I’ve had enough boy drama to last me a lifetime. I just want to focus on me and my dreams.